Principle:
We can control some things. We can’t control some things. Be wise and know the difference.
LeAnn Hunt explains What I Can and Can’t Control
It helps to get clear on what we can and can’t control in a situation. I used to teach parenting classes and we’d do an exercise like this. Think about a situation where you are trying to get their kid to do something. Now make a list of everything you can and can’t control in that situation. We can stand stronger as a parent when we aren’t struggling against things we can’t control. We stand stronger in our goal pursuits when we aren’t struggling against things we can’t control.
Take the parenting example of trying to get one of your kids to do something. Here’s a practice list:
I Can Control
- What I say
- Whether I stay calm in the situation
- What time you wake your child up
- What policies you put in place
I Can’t Control
- How my child reacts to what I say
- My child’s emotions
- How much sleep your child’s body requires
- What people think about your policies
Be specific about your situation. Really thinking about and writing down what you can and can’t control frees you to let go of things you can’t control and take action on the things you can control. Separating what we can and can’t control into a visible list can help you better cope with it. The items don’t need to be listed in pairs. List anything that comes to mind.
List of Ideas
It can be hard to get specific with what we can and can’t control. Here’s a list of things we can and can’t control that may help you brainstorm. These were taken from a google search with results like “50 things you can control right now” by TinyBuddha.com or “75 things you can control” by PsychCentral.com. Just google “What I can and Can’t control” and you’ll get plenty to read or watch on YouTube.
I Can Control
- How you interpret situations
- What you say
- How you act on your emotions
- Where you put your energy
- Being present
- Who you spend your time with
- What books you read
- What risks you take
- Whether you adjust your goals or quit when you fail
I Can’t Control
- What others think, feel, do, or say
- War
- Gas Prices
- Who we’re related to
- The past or future
- Specific Outcomes
- What someone thinks about you
- Growing old & the passing of time
- Weather
How What I Can and Can’t Control shows up in Goal Journals
This is a classic simple list that can be created as a goal journal page or a box as part of a page. It’s a pretty simple, straightforward page, but thinking through what you can and can’t control will make you a better goal getter. Here’s an example: (you don’t need to list them in pairs)
